I wrote the last post when I should have been packing. I haven’t written since because I’ve been trying to keep up with those things I should have and need to do. But also, I’ve feared, because right now all of the words are hard to write.
It is still easy to slip out of the now of my life and let grief about the past or anxiety about the future become too much. I’ve been and I will continue leaning.
Leaning on my friends and family. Sometimes I lean and others prop me up. Some days that’s the only way I’ve kept standing: knowing they were there, hearing their voices, conversations over Facebook and Twitter. Then there are the friends with whom we all lean into each other. Simultaneously supported and supporting.
Leaning on my God and my faith. Trusting that the time I’ve spent leaning into this holy work that I love is not lost. And leaning even more on the believe that it is part of a foundation for the marvelous things that are coming, of which I can only begin to dream and imagine.
This summer I have the privilege and joy of serving as the Director of our Diocesan Camp. This is a delightful coming home to a place and ministry I’ve worked in, with, and otherwise supported over the last 14 years. And it is an amazing place to be fed with energy, hopes, and dreams of a community.
My apartment was in an old building, with thick walls. This meant we stayed cooler in the summer and warmer in the winter. It also meant that our threshold was thick. It created a wonderful drop off spot for packages (books!) but crossing it was an act of deliberation. I could stand half in, leaning half out, pondering how icy it was or how badly the dog needed a walk in the rain.
Sometimes thresholds are easy to cross. Easily navigable points of transition. Other times, thresholds are a slow liminal space.
I am moving across this threshold slowly. I was there, I am here and discerning. Praying and seeking and listening. Leaning into the future.
And reminding myself of the proverb: “God draws straight with crooked lines.”
For now, for this space, here’s what I know. I will be preaching on an odd schedule of fits and starts this summer, so sermons and sermon reviews won’t happen as they have. I have found my discipline of partaking in other’s sermons too rewarding to stop. So look for more Sermon Round-ups with some regularity (hopefully but not certainly weekly). Other posts will happen as I can eke out minutes and words–much like they always have.